Gift

I dont know why I wore makeup.

Riot and I were school clothes shopping. I sent him in to the dressing room to try on jeans at JC Penney and a mom was sitting there waiting with another young man. Her youngest son was in the dressing room.

I made a silly comment “Dont you just looovvvveeeee school clothes shopping?” And she responded “Ohh my and yes especially with BOYS!” I laughed on the outside. Smiled big on the outside. But I was CRYING on the inside.

Brokenhearted. It’s amusing how the descriptions of myself and my emotions can boil down to just one word.

I asked the woman’s son, who was sitting with her, how old he was. With the most familiar smile he looked up at me and said 16. I’m sure you can guess what happened next. Yes, yes i cried. My eyes teared up so fast and I quickly had to give this sweet mom an explanation. That was the first time I got to talk about Zane that day. I gave the quick version saying I lost my son when he was 16, nothing more but not without telling this beautiful young man to love his momma. Oh his smile. I can still see it. So powerful.

That was a rough day shopping. I didn’t think it would be in all reality because my sisters and mom usually take Riot school clothes shopping. Time just got away from us this year and it was my turn. What I love about boys is that the drama during shopping is at a bare minimum. Even shoes were easy. No, Riot didn’t grab Air Jordans, he immediately went for Adidas.  Zane wore Adidas. He wanted the solid black pair but they were nowhere to be found. He set his eyes on a pair of black ones with the red Adidas classic stripes, high top. Same style, just slightly different color than the ones Zane has on forever. My emotions were all over the place, so much that I had to treat myself to Bath & Body Works.

“A mother’s love is the closest thing to God’s love.” – The Pope’s Exorcist

At the beginning of Augt my sister, Carol, texted me asking us to dinner. We accepted and on Thursday August 3rd we met Carol and Carl not knowing what exactly for. Back story: while we were gone on vacation, my sis called me to ask a few questions pertaining to Zane’s scholarship at SPC…very specific. She told a little while lie in order to get the information she needed out of me. But I didn’t put two and two together. Well, at dinner Carol and Carl presented Joe and I with a remarkable gift.

Zane left us in July of 2017 and in May of 2018 we gave away his first scholarship for South Plains College to a senior at Levelland High School. Our goal is to endow the scholarship to make it a “forever” scholarship in my baby’s name. In order for that to happen you need $10k ($2500 to start the fund and you have 3 years to fulfill the 10k). Once you get the full amount its frozen till the interest starts accumulating which is usually 3 years. Because of the fund itself being at 10k, the interest accumulation will take care of a two semester scholarship to a new LHS senior every year, basically forever. More will be explained in just a moment…

Well …at dinner Carol and Carl gifted us with the fully endowed Zane Morgan Timmons Memorial Scholarship plus 3 fully impacted years. Meaning Joe and I will be able to give away a scholarship to a deserving senior for the next three years before the big scholarship kicks in. We couldn’t have been blessed with anything more beautiful. We have tried and tried to raise the money but with Covid and a few other road blocks life has not been in our favor. Last Thursday was beyond an emotional day to say the least.

My makeup was officially gone.

Please, if you are in any way having suicidal thoughts, call someone or the AFSP hotline.
1-800-273-8255 #988
Text NAMI to 741741
#flyhighzane #suicidesucks

P.S. if you would like to donate to Zane’s scholarship, please contact me, Carol or Carl McDonald (or SPC). The more it accumulates the more each student will receive each semester. I would absolutely LOVE to see the students get more. Especially the ones that need it the most. And if you knew Zane, he would too.